i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
