I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
