I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
