Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A bitchslap is in order.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize