Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize