is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
