i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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