I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
