with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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