I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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