Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
