'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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