I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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