why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
