before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
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