There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
