Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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