I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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