The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
