all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
