I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
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Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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