I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
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the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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