i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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