she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
