also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
