Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have already put on my inside pants.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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