Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
