Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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