I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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