ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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