I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Never joke about your clitoris.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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