no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
