He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
