She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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