i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
