eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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