who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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