just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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