i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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