You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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