dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think your dad took our porno
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
