omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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