I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
