How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
