She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
