i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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