I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
