Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
