Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.

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  (720): More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun. http://tfl.nu/f0pl
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (882)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK

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  (989): if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK http://tfl.nu/niip
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (833)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i'm saving my butt for my wedding night

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  (609): i'm saving my butt for my wedding night http://tfl.nu/fqx0
  Replies (53) Good night (4400) Bad night (984)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.

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  (832): If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs. http://tfl.nu/152p
  Replies (9) Good night (2437) Bad night (517)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it

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  (443): but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it http://tfl.nu/n2yq
  Replies (11) Good night (1076) Bad night (3877)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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  (806): That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car. http://tfl.nu/uk3l
  Replies (8) Good night (2034) Bad night (3254)
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  (760): View more from California

  i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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  (760): i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now http://tfl.nu/mcne
  Replies (6) Good night (2329) Bad night (870)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.

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  (402): Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god. http://tfl.nu/igq7
  Replies (12) Good night (3262) Bad night (1005)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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  (618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl
  Replies (3) Good night (1810) Bad night (1152)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.

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  (610): She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her. http://tfl.nu/io76
  Replies (10) Good night (1087) Bad night (2558)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.

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  (765): Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that. http://tfl.nu/51k0
  Replies (20) Good night (1674) Bad night (477)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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  (443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (637)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle

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  (512): I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle http://tfl.nu/8dq3
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (265)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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  (830): Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true. http://tfl.nu/sjks
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (425)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good

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  (631): Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good http://tfl.nu/dysc
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (229)

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