Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana