chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.