I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..