This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
