you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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