She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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