Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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