he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
