It was confusing and full of hummus
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
