I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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