Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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