That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
