You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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