I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize