She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
