based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
