I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize