So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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