i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize